Paul Rudnick, writing in The New Yorker, has some fun with the Vatican’s recent pronouncements about homosexuality and the priesthood.
A MEMO FROM THE VATICAN
by PAUL RUDNICK
From: His Holiness
To: All seminaries
Subject: While the Church approves of ordaining “transitory” homosexuals—that is, those men willing to take subways and buses rather than taxis—according to our most recent directive we “cannot admit to the priesthood those who practice homosexuality, present deeply rooted homosexual tendencies, or support the so-called ‘gay culture.’ ” The following questionnaire should be used to help identify and root out such truly committed homosexuals.
1. Jesus would have been a bad boyfriend because:
(a) He wasn’t gay or sexual in any way, so the question is disgusting.
(b) He would have cared about everyone, but not enough about you.
(c) He wasn’t really Jewish.
(more…)