One to the wonderful things about the ‘net is finding another voice that brings something new and funny to the conversation. DCeiver is that one today. I’m late to the party. A lot of people knew about this site. Oh, well, enjoy.
You know, I had thought of Sarah Palin as a sort of dark horse candidate for Veep a while ago, but I’m now immediately struck by just how dark a dark horse can look when you get it into the light of day. Yeesh. This woman is a horrorshow. An epic horrorshow. And it says something about the state of the nation that even after all the calamity that has followed this pick, it still may not cost McCain anything.
Nevertheless, it’s funny how once you start delving into a complete stranger’s life the way you suddenly find out a whole lot about an ancillary topic. In this case, aerial wolf hunting. Palin’s a big fan of aerial wolf hunting. What is aerial wolf hunting? Basically, you get a bunch of guns, board a plane, find a wolf, and then chase the wolf with your plane until the wolf is dead on its feet from exhaustion. Then you land your plane and shoot the wolf.
Now, look. I know that mankind is locked in an epic battle with nature and, like many of you, I hope I live to see the day when we destroy nature once and for all. But there’s something about aerial wolf hunting that just doesn’t strike me as very sporting. I think it’s the whole part where you chase the wolves hither and yon across the tundra in a goddamned airplane.
Really, is this even technically hunting? I mean, I could go in for some aerial wolf taunting, maybe, where you chase the wolf around in your plane, tire him out, land, and then get out and say things like, “SUCK IT WOLF! Now you know what the FUCKING SCORE IS!” Then you get back on the plane and get wasted on mini bottles of cinnamon schnapps or something.
But there’s nothing about aerial wolf hunting that seems akin to the manly pastime of hunting that gun-toting Republicans like to extol. And this weird sort of wussy-ass hunting seems to be consistent with the GOP. Remember, Dick Cheney doesn’t actually hunt quail, he hunts heavily sedated, incompetent quail in a practice called “canned hunting.” Again, this does not seem to be true hunting. It feels sort of like cheating.
Don’t get me wrong: I actually have great fear and respect for Cheney as a hunter because he also likes to shoot Republican lawyers in the face. Why they haven’t set up a game preserve so that all of us can enjoy this pursuit is beyond me.