It is all about sex, or at least relationships. I think that is true when I read about Muslim countries in the Middle East. I read an article in the near past about a small town in Tunisia that was turning out lots of young men who wanted to go to Iraq and kill Americans. I don’t have a link for it, but I’ll try to find it.
The reason these young men were willing to go is that economic conditions in their area were very bad. They couldn’t work and if they couldn’t work, they pay the dowry for a wife. So they played video games all day until they drifted into a radical mosque, became radicalized and then went to Iraq.
Baida is a young woman who was trained as a suicide bomber but intercepted. She was interviewed in an Iraqi prison.
When Baida was 17, her mother died, and a few months later, at her father’s behest, Baida married. Almost immediately she knew she had made a mistake. A week after her wedding, according to Baida, her husband threw a cup of cream at her head; soon, beatings became regular. She smiled sweetly and shrugged: “His hand got used to beating me.”
Ater her father died, things changed.
Baida told me she felt much more helpless after her father died. Until then, when she was unhappy with her husband, she would go to visit her family, although they had moved by then to Husayba, the Syrian border town. Sometimes she was so upset at home that she would call one of her brothers or cousins to come to Baquba and drive her to her father’s. “You see, when my father was alive, he loved us a lot,” she said wistfully. “So when I quarreled with my husband, I felt safe because I had my father.”
A young woman trapped in a hopeless marriage. Divorce is not an option. Suicide is, and you can get glory when you do it.
Colonial New England was one of the first places where it was accepted that romantic love had a place in marriage. Before that, it seems that most marriages in the Western world were for many things other than romantic love. Officers in the French Army, stationed in New England during the Revolutionary War, wrote home about the way the couples seemed to love each other, even in their old age. But after several centuries, we still don’t understand how to maintain romantic love in a marriage or re-foster it if goes away.
And religion is of little help:
One of the district’s villages is Makhisa, which was home to at least three women who became suicide bombers. A settlement on the edge of Makhisa was for many years the home of Baida’s cellmate, Ranya Ibrahim. It had the dubious distinction of being the town favored by the notorious Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Police told me that he married a woman from Makhisa and sometimes stayed in the village until he was killed on June 7, 2006.
The town, set among thick date-palm and pomegranate orchards, consists of little more than a few streets lined with low slung, mostly rickety houses, many with simple palm-thatch porches. On the outskirts, one in every four vehicles is a wooden horse-drawn wagon. The animals pull canisters filled with gas used for cooking, transport wood and serve as an informal bus service for local women and children. The most recent suicide bombing near here occurred this spring. It killed at least 47 people, many of them Iranian Shiite pilgrims.
Until 2007, it was too dangerous for the Iraqi Army and the Iraqi police to enter the area. When they finally did, they found a strange community. “When we entered Makhisa we didn’t find a TV because it’s forbidden,” Col. Khalid Mohammed al-Ameri, who was in the army under Saddam Hussein and has served all over the country, told me. “And no ice, no cigarettes and no tomatoes and cucumbers mixed together at the same shop.”
The strictest Sunni extremists believe that people should not have anything that did not exist in the early days of Islam. Since there was no electricity in the seventh century, there could be neither refrigeration nor ice and no television. The aversion to mixing tomatoes and cucumbers is because cucumbers are viewed as a male vegetable and tomatoes are female, and mixing them in a box is seen as lascivious, Colonel Khalid said, shaking his head.
Cucumbers and tomatoes. I can see the cucumber, but a tomato? Because it is squishy? Red juice? That is too weird.
A young woman in Baida’s situation may look longingly toward an end of her strife-filled life. And that is sad.